This year I’m celebrating a big birthday. Honestly I’ve never been a big one for birthdays and after turning 21 and legally having most freedoms that get granted by age in the US of A, what was the point anyways? That and the fact that throughout my childhood my birthday typically fell during spring break which meant most my friends were gone for the actual day I didn’t have a lingering love for my birthday. After all it’s just another day, in another year.

However, this one is one of those decade milestone birthdays. The birthday in fact, that is supposed to end a women’s life according to Western social constructs. The one that says that from the stroke of midnight her (my) worth will immediately start depleting.

Why yes, I am beating around the bush to saying that I’m turning 30 this year. (And by ‘year’ I mean in a matter of weeks.)

Rationally I know that the number means nothing — but society has done a big one on me (and pretty much all women in this part of the world) and given me this irrational fear about my worth past that age. Circling around to what have I accomplished, where is my life headed? How can I compare myself to the structure of a life prescribed to me by my society? It keeps getting darker and scarier.

That being said, while my rational brain is aware that this number has no bearing on reality, the part of my brain that still hasn’t been de-programmed from useless societal pressures needs a calming focus. Some way to remind itself that I am a worthwhile human, some way to remind it that I have skills and abilities and am worthwhile. Also that the body that I am lucky enough to be able to walk this planet with hasn’t lost it’s value even though it is considered to have ‘peaked’.

The best way I know to tackle this is by focusing on a new clothing project.

A big fancy clothing project.

An ensemble.

A fancy outfit that will let me feel like a magical queen on a day that society tells me my value has started depreciating.

For this gorgeous piece of tailored craftswomanship I knew I didn’t want a dress or skirt. I haven’t worn something un-bifurcated in years so it definitely had to be an outfit with pants. Not jeans, I make and wear them all the time. Instead I want trouser pants. But trousers with a blouse, even an interesting beautiful one isn’t something out of the ordinary which is what I’m aiming for. No, for these special trousers I need a matching jacket. And what do you get when you have a matching pant and jacket? A suit. And what can you add to a suit to make it so much extra? A vest. And what do you get when you put them all together?

A THREE PIECE SUIT.

Now lovingly known as my BIRTHDAY SUIT!

ALL THE JOKES CAN NOW ENSUE.

I’ll be following this post up with some inspiration images, patterns I’m thinking of using, and fabrics I’ve been considering. Can’t wait to share, because even though I’ve been thinking about this project for months it didn’t feel like something I could accomplish in time until this week — even though I’m going to be pushing pretty damn hard to get it done on time!